Spending One-on-One Time With Kids

When the kids were younger, I spent a lot of one-on-one time with each of them. Toby and I would go on burger dates, and Anton and I would have long conversations at bedtime.

But since their dad and I got divorced, one-on-one-time time has been harder to come by, since there isn’t another parent at home with whom I can switch off. I’ve talked about the all-or-nothingness of shared custody, and this affects one-on-one time, too — I have either have both boys or no boys, depending on the day.

Recently, though, I’ve been finding ways to carve out solo time with them, and I realized how much I’d missed it. When Anton went to summer camp, Toby and I took a little road trip through Vermont and Massachusetts. We visited families we knew, then listened to his playlist in the car (lots of Mamma Mia and One Direction), then watched Friends at night. I loved being able to follow his lead and let him have my uninterrupted attention.

And when Toby goes to sports games (go, Yankees!), Anton and I will take little adventures, like driving to Red Hook for key lime pie, or walking around the neighborhood and guessing how many dogs (or baseball caps or babies) we’ll see by the time we get home. Sometimes he’ll ask me big questions about politics or religion — he’s always been a deep thinker — and other times he prefers “just yappin’.”

What about you? Do you spend one-on-one time with the kids in your life? Any rituals you enjoy? I’d love to hear!

P.S. What Don Draper taught me about parenting, three transgender kids share their stories, and one thing that has surprised me about parenting.